May 2013
82 posts
1 tag
Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.
An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
Only in Castle can "Never" and "Always" basically...
tomkirk:
my life is just a collection of poorly made decisions with alternative music playing in the background
paulweasley:
ahlistenalison:
true friendship is bullying your friends into watching the tv shows you watch
~if i’m going down you’re all going down with me~
It actually pisses me off so much that there’s the whole WORLD out there, yet I’m just going to school every day and learning things that I am - for the most part - completely apathetic towards and I have so little motivation, yet I could be off finding wonderful things in foreign cities or climbing mountains or helping people or just wandering, and I feel like I’d learn so much more doing that...
1 tag
i love the feeling of listening to new music and you really like it from the first listen and you just
dude
3 tags
3 tags
Person: What's your favorite episode?
Me: Season 5
4 tags
mermaidsandmisandry:
dont ask me about my favorite characters because i will literally tell you their entire storyline and cry
rdjmpreg666:
studied for 30 seconds im gonna rock this fuckin test
amount of plotlines/plot devices i have: 9898678
amount of stories i've completed: 0
foxykurt:
they say kids and teens are delusional about the job market but i think parents have more trouble realizing jobs dont fall from the sky
ifyoucarryonthisway:
the worst thing about being shy and introverted is that you most of the time come off as cold and arrogant like you think you’re better than everyone else and that’s why you don’t talk to people or hang out with them but it’s really the opposite its like you’re so uncomfortable with yourself that you don’t wanna share it with anyone else so you just don’t and people think...
“Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?”
– (via stanafied)
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I MEAN ITS NOT EVEN A CLIFFHANGER THERE ARE TWO...
I TRUSTED YOU MARLOWE
I STILL LOVE YOU
BUT FUCK YOU
YOU JUST KILLED ME
4 tags
IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL A SOFT CLIFFHANGER WHAT IS...
HOLY SHIT SOMEBODY SEND HELP
Parents: Don't talk to people on the internet.
Me: Trust me, I try to get them to talk to me all the time and they don't want to.
carcat:
forever wondering what my language sounds like to people who can’t speak it
kittyquerida:
best selling novel “what the fuck are you doing” and it’s acclaimed sequel “can you fucking not”
a haiku about most of my pencils
jaclcfrost:
a second ago
had you a second ago
what the fucking shit
suicidenotesbutterflykisses:
bueno:
things i haven’t learned in high school
how to pay bills
how to buy a house
how to buy a car
how to apply for loans for college
but thank jesus i can graph a polynomial function
i cant even do that
1 tag
justinibiebers:
stuff you ask your mom:
mom where’s my towel
mom what do we eat for dinner
mom what time is it
mom where’s my phone
mom when do you come back
mom what day is it
stuff you ask your dad
dad where is mom
petit-ouji:
[AGGRESSIVELY PROCRASTINATES FOR THREE HOURS ON SOMETHING THAT COULD HAVE BEEN FINISHED IN 30 MINUTES]
szszsz:
Some fanfics are so good they deserve fanfiction
shady-brain-farm:
I like how on Tumblr we all have lots of sass but in real life we can’t say hi without fucking up.
guilmon:
i find it funny that i have followers like are you aware im a loser
bon-bon:
The older I get the more I realise there are no grown ups and nobody knows what the fuck they’re doing.
getting an 80% on a test in 8th grade: (loud wailing that lasts at least an hour followed by a sinking feeling of despair and uselessness)
getting an 80% on a test now: (power slides down the hall while singing the national anthem)
caskettlovey:
Ok, my theory:
I think the whole job issue will be resolved in watershed, she won’t go and Caskett will be together and happy and then in the last five minutes of the episode something completely unexpected, unrelated to their relationship, will happen which will serve both as a cliffhanger and as a story arc for the beginning of season 6.
math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
physics tests: The aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. Their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. Calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.
taketotheskyflyaway replied to your post: taketotheskyflyaway replied to your post: NOT OK…
the finale
Well, maybe something bad WILL happen. But looking at the spoilers released until now, maybe it will be something completely unrelated to their relationship, but it affects them. I don’t think it’s something like the return of Bracken or 3XK - that’d be too much plot for...
2 tags
me eating mcdonalds
before: YEAHHHHH MCDONALDS WOO
during: YEAAAAHHH THIS IS alright
after: what have i done to myself
4 tags
taketotheskyflyaway replied to your post: NOT OK
actually, that’s what going to happen. she’ll take the job, go to dc,that’s why casket will break up and on season 6, she’ll b back to the NYPD. i think after all,that’s what going to happen.Marlowe does this things &he said that caskett is too happy
idk I just have a feeling that they’re not gonna break-up, idk why. I think maybe...
5 tags
NOT OK
I don’t think Beckett will take the job, and I don’t think she could. I know she’s MORE THAN CAPABLE of bigger and better things, doesn’t mean she has to go to damn DC. I actually believe Beckett belongs in an NYPD homicide division. Of course she could become a Lieutenant, Sergeant, who knows, maybe one day there will be a Captain Beckett. Idk I just think Beckett was made...
